This summer begins what is quite possibly the scariest thing I've ever done: support raising. DundundunDUN. Oh my word- SO overwhelming. I SO want to be back in the fall for classes here. But to go from 8% to fully supported in one summer? Unheard of. Insane. Impossible. And all kinds of other big words that are basically the adult version of "Ah!!! Scary!!" Not that any of this is news. But its getting closer now, and therefore, scarier.
I have found, over the last few weeks, that I am relating more and more to Peter walking on the water. I alternate between being totally relaxed and confident that God's going to bring in exactly the right amount at exactly the right time like He always has, and freaking out because this absolutely ridiculous and I must have totally lost my mind to even be attempting this! When my eyes are on Jesus- I can walk through/on/over/ these crazy waves of support raising. But the minute my eyes are off Jesus- plunk!- I drop like a stone. Jesus makes the difference like nothing else possibly could.
He's been reminding me of that lately through this song called "Wait and See" by Brandon Heath. Maybe these words will be an encouragement to you in where God has you. They sure have been to me as I think about this summer:
Still wondering why I'm here,
Still wrestling with my fear,
But oh! He's up to something
And the farther along I go,
I've seen enough to know that I'm
Not here for nothing
He's up to something.
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