The weird part, though, was that when I did the "flip back to the beginning" thing that I always do when I finish a journal, I saw that almost nothing has changed. I'm still doing the same thing, in the same place, with many of the same people. I mean, okay so I moved about a hundred yards away to a different apartment, and I have a dog now, but other than that, things are basically the same as they were two years ago. I cannot begin to explain to you how weird that is.
My life just doesn't stay the same that long. Ever. I have moved something like 24 times since junior high. In the past 6 years alone I have lived 8 different places in two different places half way across the country from each other. My life has been in a mild (and sometimes not so mild) state of upheaval for as long as I can remember. Stability is an odd new reality.
Not that I'm complaining, necessarily. I've always wanted to give the whole living-in-one-place-and knowing-the-same-people-for-a-long-time thing a try. It's nice. I like it. I know where all the grocery stores are, and which thrift store I should go to for what. I know when to look forward to a festival or event, and when to stay completely out of town because the tourists are going to be crazy. I've been blessed to be part of the same wonderful church since I moved here and am so so thankful for the friendships God's blessed me with there. I know what to expect from the seasons here now (well, as well as you can with Missouri's schizophrenic weather). And taxes are SO much easier when they only involve one state.
But... it's weird too. I've had to find a new hobby- what do I do when I actually finish setting up and decorating a house? Never lived somewhere long enough to have to find out before. In a lot of ways, this whole one-place-thing is a big learning curve. I'm having to learn to rest differently, to anticipate differently. I'm having to learn how to deal with issues in relationships rather than just ignore them because I'm leaving soon, so it won't matter anyway. And I have to walk with Jesus differently.
You see, God has always been the stable thing. For years He was the ONLY stable thing in my life, and I clung to Him, like a storm-tossed ship to its anchor. I learned Him better and loved Him more as He proved all kinds of faithful and loving and permanent. But... when the sea is calm... what does a ship do with its anchor?
So its time to learn. I'm learning that God is not only the same, He's new too. There is much more of Him to discover than I have so far. Not only that, but now there are ways he wants me to learn and grow by standing still. Just because life isn't changing, doesn't mean I should stay the same. God is more than just an anchor, and I'm excited to learn how to follow Jesus standing still.
