This is the part of moving I hate the most. Everything seems to be going wrong, and I second guess everything, and there's just wishing longing for the familiar. Yeah. Not my favorite. At all. But thank goodness, like all phases it will pass.
I miss my friends, I miss Grandmom and Jess, I miss knowing where everything is, I miss church, I've even started to miss the kids at work. And that should tell you how homesick I am if nothing else does :P Its funny the things that set me off though. Things like singing praise songs in chapel... and not being part of the worship team back at Faith. Or wanting to take a shower late at night... and it not being there. It being SOOOO stinking humid all the time-and I want to go back where it wasn't- hah missing Mexico there though, not Philly. Hopefully fall will get here soon too.
And then it brings up all the things I'm afraid of but the ridiculous and the realistic- oh my word - do I really want to go live in the scary jungle and eat nothing but bugs and snakes the rest of my life! Oh my word- I don't want to move all over the rest of my life- I want a home! On my word what if I can't find chocolate? Oh my word- what about raising support? Oh my word- what if I assimalate too well and become a scary hillbilly weird person and when I go back to Philly no one will talk to me? oh my word can I really do this all alone? (I know some of these are completely ridiculous, and that God will take care of the ones that aren't- I'm just trying to be honest about how things are going).
That's not to say everything's horrible right now, because its not really. It's just going to feel that way for a couple of days maybe two weeks at the most and then I will feel better.
I do NOT miss:
gas prices- its about about forty cents cheaper here.
The stars (or rather lack there of)- you can see SO many more here
if you wouldn't mind praying specifically for me that I would be able to get some sleep? I haven't been able to sleep for nearly a week now- waking up five or six times a night, and I know that's not helping anything. It also makes it very hard to pay attention, say in class, or Church (I have NO idea what the sermon was about- though I'm not convinced that was entirely my fault...lots of bunny trails in that sermon). Also leads to being much more easily stressed and very emotional (I nearly cried like 7 times today- and actually did cry twice)I don't know what's wrong, I've tried a couple different things, but I still don't seem to be sleeping.
I tried a church connected to the ministry I signed up to be involved with here ("outreach" is the official word for it). Everyone was very nice and the discussion was deep and full of scripture. Its a teeny tiny little church (maybe 25-30 people total) but they're doing a neat ministry to at risk youth in the area (the outreach I signed up for)
Okay this is getting really long (I seem to be doing that a lot- sorry! I will try to make the next one short) but I wanted to post these lyrics that have been super encouraging to me the last few days:
And the arms that hold the universe/Are holding you tonight/You can rest inside/It's gonna be alright And the voice that calmed the raging sea/Is calling you His child/So be still and know He's in control
He will never let you go -Fee
He will never let you go -Fee
1 comment:
Someone recently said to me and this has helped (when I remember): "Don't borrow tomorrow's trouble; today's troubles are enough." Think it's in Matthew. Anna, know that I will be praying for you during this difficult period.
Perhaps as you lay in bed, you could start an alphabet praise to God. Praise Him for "apples," "berries," etc. You get the picture. I will pray for you tonight and times when I wake up and can't go to sleep too.
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